The Bar that ATE Olde City

This is the bar t-shirt I’ve been waiting for. The monster is strange, the lettering is unique ,and the subject is engaging without being complicated. I’m also relived that this isn’t a shirt that says “Property of Sugar Mom’s” on it, or have a silly little logo in the breast pocket area. Most Irish Pubs shirts have letters in some sort of Celtic style but because of this they become standard and end up looking boring. Most people realize that a Paddy’s shirt is no different than a Brownies’. Now, Moms’ shirt has nothing standard about it. If another bar has a t-shirt with a disaster scene on it I will be forced to consider it a rip-off.

What’s the reason for this scene anyway? Is it to scare the good citizens of Old City in to drinking at Sugar Mom’s because Sugar Mom’s is a hungry beast? Maybe the shirt tells everyone that the patrons of Sugar Mom’s enjoy 1950’s style horror movies. Marvel, at the tentacles whipping around the periphery of the bulbous batboy head. Cringe, at the super creepy shadows created by its black and white design. If you want a bar t-shirt with an original design run, don’t walk to Sugar Mom’s but beware of THE THING THAT ATE OLD CITY.

A shot of ROOT

ArtinBars devotees may remember my disappointing ROOT trip to National Mechanics over the summer. You know, when I went there to try one of the Art in the Ages flagship bar’s signature ROOT cocktails. Except they didn’t have one. OK, fine. I went again and they still don’t have anything, months later. So my friend and I simply had ROOT on the rocks, in lieu of topping it off with soda, which was our other option. So, I’ve thought about this second trip and I have 3 very important points to make, so I have broken them down:

1.) Consistency and creativity of the product: Why does Art in the Age promote places to drink ROOT in bars when the bars have no idea what to do with it? I have been to several places that have promoted ROOT, and either the place doesn’t have it, or doesn’t know how to make a drink with it. As a consumer it doesn’t make me trust the producers or the product.

2.) Price: Don’t get me wrong, I love a good, cheap drink. Happy hours, midnight specials, dive bars, I’ve done them all. But I am also willing to pay a pretty penny for a well-crafted cocktail. Creations with rare ingredients or house made liqueurs. Something I can’t get anywhere else in this whole metropolis. My point? National Mechanics charges $10 for ROOT plus ice. And when an entire bottle of ROOT is $32.99 at any liquor store in Philly it seems a little silly to pay $10 for 4oz.

3.) As of this article I am done discussing ROOT. I still think it is good, and will continue to buy it by the bottle, but I will not longer search for ROOT events or drinks around town. I sort of feel like I’ve wasted 5 months doing so. If no one else cares about this product’s potential then neither will I. I don’t work for Art in the Age; I am only a consumer that believed that this one of a kind, specialty spirit could change the local palette?

I’ve had some really good times at National Mechanics, and it is by far one of the most tolerable places in Old City and I’ve only been disappointed on ROOT specific excursions.

Stay bubbly Philadelphia!

Afterward, be sure to vote on your favorite, because the winning window will be awarded a grand prize of a weekend getaway in Savannah, Georgia and a private a tour of the Savannah College of Art and Design. Rad. This Friday October 9th there will be an opening reception at Dane Decor (315 Arch Street) with snacks and cocktails, where you can mingle with the artists. This is a super short happening, with the voting closing October 13th. Then, on Tuesday the 20th  there will be another party for the awards reception at F.U.E.L. (249 Arch Street) where the winner will be announced.

If you’re not around the area, you can check out the photos online, although there’s no way to tell which artists did what or even what business window it is. If you feel like strolling around, in this lovely weather, I have made a map with all of the participating businesses as well as the names of the artists.

View Windows Throughout Old City October 7-13, 2009 in a larger map

What's that out the window?

How can you not love Moms? Granted, there are two, Sugar Mom’s and Tattooed Mom’s, both both share an affinity for feeding you free lollipops, giving your toys, and looking the other way when you write on the walls. Sugar Mom’s in closed two days, and located in a basement of an apartment building in an alley in olde town, and Tattooed Mom’s is on dirty, dirty South Street, and is divided by and upstairs / downstairs dynamic that rivals Victorian England. Both fill with die hard locals on the off hours, have some of the best bar tenders in the city, and fill with headache inducing out of towners (both the Jersey and suburb variety) on the high hours. Either way though, you have to be a stone cold bastard and jerkass if you don’t like Mom’s.

Ah, yes. Terrifying trash monsters.

Seriously, what kind of ass are you to not like Mom’s? What is wrong with you?¬† Tell me in the comments.¬† Seriously, what could you have against the places? Granted, much like my own¬† mother (and probably yours) Mom’s has flaws. And not just subtle flaws, but proud, glaring, heart-on-the-sleeve flaws. Those flaws aren’t for everyone, but you have not love in spite of, if not like for, flaws. But with those flaws comes great love and rewards.

Dum Dums

Mom’s is high on the list of Philadelphia bars that I frequent. And I do lump them together; frequently bartenders swap shifts, so if you’re a regular drinker who switches locals you’ll still find yourself bumping into the same sweet staff.¬† One of the first places I started going to after entering legal age (because trust, Mom’s, like your mom, will card you. Probably till you’re in your mid 40s.) Whether the worn bricks of Sugar Mom’s¬† the green lounge of Tattooed Mom’s lower level, or the crust punk detritus of the busted bumper cars of upstairs, Mom’s is such a gem for the city. It’s not just the candy and the toys, which harken back to my Archie McPhee’s childhood, but the cheap beer, the cheap liquor, the good beer (if you want to pay for it) the decent food, and above all, the knowing, patient, harried, human bar staff, it’s all the parts that make such a wonderful whole to Mom’s.

If you have a Mom’s coin, you know that you get way, way, WAY more than what you pay for. And even if you, or a friend, don’t have a coin, if you go to Mom’s with any sort of frequency and order more than one thing, you will notice, you get taken care of. Whole rounds of drinks get knocked off the tab. You’ll end up leaving the whole evening budget as tip because you were so well taken care of. Have you ever met Mom? In all her pink haired glory? And the atmosphere. Oh, the ambiance. Mom has made the kind of bar a fella or a gal wants to drink in. Spend time in. Meet people in. Hell, do crafts, drink the cheapest beer in the city, and listen to music in.

Mmm. Dollar beer.

I may be feeling nostalgic because Mom’s taps into the very Portland part of me. This very morning I went to breakfast at the Beaterville Cafe; a former garage now done up in this eclectic junkyard route 66 vibe with a whole bunch of kitsch on the walls and artfully displayed in dioramas. And that’s Mom’s; with the sea foam green walls, the vintage thrift couches and chairs, the art toys bolted to the walls, and the MST3K scenes in the alley. But beyond being refuge to the weird (or perhaps because of it) Mom’s is so much more to me a home away from home. A place you can go after a hard days work for Taco Tuesday or Pirogi Wednesday. A hung over Sunday craft day to spend nursing Lion’s Head beer, deciphering the bottle cap codes and making glittery craft projects to hang on your refrigerator.

Both Mom’s locations have eaten many, many hours of my life, more than I intended, but I wouldn’t ever change them in. You never regret an afternoon slipping into evening at Mom’s. In the company of a warm, caring environment, the conversation of friends, cheap drinks, diverting toys, enveloping music, good waiters; what more could one want?

I may be in the heady daze of hometown pride right now, but if there’s any part of Philly I’m looking forward to coming back to, it’s Mom’s.

Tattooed Mom’s
530 South St.

Sugar Mom’s
225 Church St.

Root Martini

I have fallen in love. With an alcohol of course! ROOT is probably one of the most delicious liquids I have found in a bottle in a very long time. Sweet and spicy, potent and complex; ROOT has it all.

I‚Äôve been following the ROOT website for months now, and it seems every week they are promoting a new Philadelphia bar that has begun to carry ROOT. I chose National Mechanics because this bar is on my way home from work. When I sat down with my friend I was rambling excitedly about what the ROOT special could possibly be. When our server came to the table I asked about what sort of wonderful drinks National Mechanics have been manufacturing with ROOT. Her answer so disappointed me that I am still disappointed to this day. She said that she only found out what ROOT was that night (even though artintheage had been promoting National Mechanics as a ROOT hub for at least a month *see Editor’s Note ) and she and the bartender didn‚Äôt know what to do with it, and that the table that ordered ROOT earlier that night got it with ginger ale. ‚ÄúFresh ginger ale?‚Äù I asked, hopefully. ‚ÄúNo; soda‚Äù she says, a bit annoyed. And as much as I like paying $9 for alcohol and soda, I decided against that drink. So, I ordered the first thing I could think of, something I‚Äôve been making at my house anyway‚Äîthe espresso martini.

The martini was good. Very good. But I was so disenchanted by the ‘create your own cocktail’ apathetic attitude of National Mechanics that it ruined the whole experience for me. ROOT is awesome. I suggest you readers check out the Art in the Age website at artintheage.com and more specifically the history of this delightful infusion at the history page.

National Mechanics
22 S. 3rd St.
“ROOT” Espresso Martini

Reverend Michael Alan - the official artist of ROOT - image from the aia website

* Ed note — This story is so weird. National Mechanics, Art in the Age, and Gyro have been heavily promoting ROOT at NM since at least late April with a teaser campaign and huge launch / pr blitz. I know this because¬† a) I’m on their mailing list and b) one of the very first AiB posts was nearly about Reverend Michael Alan’s Botanical Illustrations, which were on display at the¬† Art in the Age store in May, and for which there was a ROOT launch party AT NATIONAL MECHANICS. How is it the servers didn’t know about the signature liquor their company is partially responsible for launching? Also, why is there a lemon in an espresso martini? So many questions.